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The Top 12 Things Support Can Tell Users To Get Them To Hang-up

12. "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?''

11. "That's right, not even McGyver could fix it.''

10. "Sooo -- what are you wearing?''

9. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!''

8. "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n.''

7. "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with '60 Minutes.' Press 3 if you're with the FTC.''

6. "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery.''

5. "I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.''

4. "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.''

3. "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!''

2. "OK, turn to Page 523 in your copy of 'Dianetics.' ''

And the No. 1 Thing You Can Say To Get Them Out Of Your Hair ...

1. "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney.''

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